The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)

"You're so dumb you wouldn't know rabbit turds from Rice Krispies.", 30 May 2007

Realistically, I can see the same problems in The Giant Spider Invasion as most anyone else. But what I see in the movie that some people appear to be missing is a whole lot of fun. A VW Beatle doubling as a giant spider, spider puppets jumping out of dresser drawers, Wisconsin rednecks with buckets of diamonds, Alan Hale Jr's take on being a sheriff, Barbara Hale and Steve Brodie spouting some incredibly ridiculous scientific nonsense, mutilated cattle, pantsuits, and a farmer wearing a girdle – what's not to like? Some people (and I'm often guilty of this) take movies too seriously. I mean if you have fun with it and find yourself entertained, what more do you really expect from a movie? Call it a guilty pleasure of mine or a sentimental remembrance of my youth, but I'm rating this one a 6/10.

Alan Hale, Jr. really cracks me up in The Giant Spider Invasion. For starters, the first line he utters is to call someone "Little Buddy". How original? Next, his character is never at a loss for a bad joke. Whether it's a concerned citizen on the phone, cutting up with a bartender, or discussing the grave situation his town faces, he's full of lame one-liners. Where else are you going to hear someone say, "I used to take physics, but I find prunes do a better job for me" to a NASA scientist? Finally, and as I alluded to earlier, I like Hale's take on being a sheriff. The Giant Spider Invasion would have you believe that sheriffs in Middle-of-Nowhere, Wisconsin, spend their days either sitting at their desks or eating in a local diner regardless of the carnage and destruction going on around them. Hale seems particular suited for the job!

6/10