King Dinosaur (1955)

"What a desolate, forsaken place.", 26 August 2007

Scientists discover a new planet and decide to send an exploratory rocket with four scientists (two men and two women – how convenient) aboard. The planet closely resembles Earth with its breathable atmosphere, lush vegetation, and plethora of wildlife. The place seems simply ideal – that is, until they visit an island in the middle of a nearby lake. The island's inhabitants aren't as cute and cuddly as the lemur they've adopted and named Joe. The island is home to dinosaurs! Can our band of intrepid scientists escape the island before they become a snack?

One of the things I enjoy about 1950s sci-fi is that regardless of how bad or ridiculous a movie might be, these movies usually have a certain naive charm about them. That's not the case here. King Dinosaur has nothing that could remotely be called "charm". It's an abysmal mess. Even by Bert I. Gordon's standards it's a wretched movie (and if you're unfamiliar with Gordon's other works, those are some pretty low standards). The plot is pathetic. The acting is plain out pitiful. The depiction of the "scientists" and "science" is ludicrous. The special effects are a laugh-out-loud joke. The staged lizard/iguana/alligator fights are reprehensible. At least half the movie is composed of stock footage. And the movie is such a technical mess that I'm surprised this bunch of bozos was even able to get it on film. I'm racking my brain, but I've got absolutely nothing positive to say.

But the most ridiculous moment in King Dinosaur (and one of the most ridiculous moments in movie history) comes about 5 minutes before the movie's end. Before the four "scientists" leave the island, one of them says, "I brought the atom bomb. I think it's a good time to use it." Huh? What did he just say? You mean he's been carrying an atomic weapon around like a loaf of bread? Carrying around food, water, or . . . oh I don't know . . . scientific equipment might make sense, but an atom bomb? I could even see carrying some sort of small hand-held weapon for self defense, but a nuclear warhead? It's got to be one of the most ridiculous moments ever put on film.

1/10